Sexting: A new form of infidelity

In an article for Telegraph, Hannah Betts writes about the dangers of extramarital (or extrarelational) sexting. The author calls the phenomenon "the new fidelity".

The technological development has enabled a culture of virtual flirtation, in which even though the partners are not in physical contact, it does influence the physical reality and relationship of theirs.

The article underlines that this pattern cannot be only found among youngsters, but also supposedly mature, married people or people living in relationships were quick adopt it. The virtual adulterers can conveniently look for candidates, from their home, office - wherever they are. The means of communication is often at hand.

The author seeks professional advice:

"Paula Hall, a psychotherapist and spokesperson for Relate, has a chapter on the symbiosis between technology and infidelity in her new book, Improving Your Relationship for Dummies. When asked whether she finds this behaviour common, her response is an emphatic: “Yes, yes!” “People can legitimately term these platonic affairs,” Hall explains. “The defence is that it involves nothing sexual – not even touching. But there is obviously deceit and a breach of trust. The participants are playing with fire.

“It is the holding of secrets from your partner that is damaging,” she continues. “Plus you’re idealising someone to whom you have constant access. In fact, it may be less about the other person than escapism into a powerfully intense world where the texter has autonomy and feels attractive. There are some couples who can successfully negotiate these boundaries, but for most it will be a case of playing Russian roulette.”

The article goes on saying: "Sexting, like sex, creates a conspiracy of two from which the rest of the world is excluded. And in a culture in which we are inseparable from our phones, the potential is always there, literally to hand."